I play a lot of games. I also really like to talk about my experiences with those games. Unfortunately, most people don’t like being bombarded with the details of my recent Zelda quest or being subjected to my opinions on the current Smash meta. Fortunately, the internet exists :D This is my first blog post (hopefully of many) where I’ll be talking about my recent gaming experiences while throwing in some comments on my life along the way.

Relevant life facts (I’ll put this at the top as necessary):

1. Sam = My roommate
2. Rachel = Sam’s gf
3. Vision = Short for a class I’m taking called Computer Vision and Machine learning

Due to the recent Pokemon craze, I’ve been feeling more and more nostalgia towards the Pokemon games of old. Pkmn Go came and went (Go’ed?), but it kind of disappointed me. However, I recently came across Pokemon Uranium. This is a fan-made game built just like Pokemon Ruby/Pearl/etc., but with a bunch of modern twists. It also has a built-in Nuzlocke mode for added difficulty. Since I need an excuse not to work on Vision, and for some reason my mind thinks playing games is an excuse, I started playing (Rachel thinks she inspired me to pick this up by starting Pokemon Ruby, but that’s only half true).

Right off the bat, Pokemon Uranium hits you hard. Before you even get to make a decision on anything past your gender, you’re thrown into a cutscene where your mom dies… And also your father took this as an excuse to completely neglect you… So I’m already traumatized. Things start to pick up from there though. I go through the classic “pick your starter” charade, except Prof. Oak’s into the Hawaiian shirt fashion trend and my rival’s hair is on fire. The grass starter is pretty cute and also steel type (!), so I gotta go with him. To tone down that cuteness a little, I name him Mr. Grinch. Then, because Uranium has to be cool and different, my rival actually gets the disadvantaged starter (water type). But SOMEHOW, I nearly lose the first battle, only to be saved by a critical hit at the last second. I seriously think the game just took pity on me and forced me to win. That or Mr. Grinch has a huge clutch factor. After that, old man Bambo (Prof. Oak’s new moniker) takes us youngins out into the woods in the night for a fun time playing with balls. We’re catching some chipmunks with weird colors, having a good time, but as Uranium is taking me through the motions, I’m starting to learn why this Nuzlocke thing is so hard. There are two main rules here: 1. You can only catch the first pokemon you see on a route. If it dies before you catch it, sucks. 2. There’s permadeath, so if any of your pokemans faint, RIP. So even in the tutorial stages, I’m playing hesitant af trying not to kill this dumbass squirrel. For future reference, the squirrel kinda looks like the albino squirrel we have here at UT, so she’s named Albina.

After catching Albina, stuff runs pretty smoothly (besides me restarting after not catching a bird. It’s name is literally Birbie how adorable is that!?). I’m kickin ass and taking names, beating up random kids in the woods for their lunch money. As any street-smart 10 year old would do, I eventually wander into a cave hoping to catch a new strong rock with a face. And a super strong rock with a face pops up! Mr. Grinch is kinda low on HP, so I leech seed this punk as you do. This move takes a little hp each turn, so I’m sure you can see how this is gonna end. Foreshadowing: dis bich refuses to get caught! He’s level 5, so you’d think his punk ass would get in a pokeball after he’s down like 50% HP. But nope… He’s a rock and he’s barely taking any damage, so I figure I have enough time to catch him. But nope… He just refuses to get caught… And dies… And now I’m salty af. I was super tempted to save scum, but Sam saved me from doing that. Still, it was such a badass rock :(